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Dolores Jane Umbridge ([info]kitten_kitsch) wrote,
@ 2008-04-04 19:16:00

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To all students and faculty of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as well as any alumni who like to keep up with school news: Greetings!

I am most pleased to report on the success of the recent investigations of the Muggleborn Registration Committee into illegal students at Hogwarts. Already we have rooted out several students who must have stolen Hogwarts letters in their first year, and we have summarily expelled them. It saddens me that the Muggleborn feel this desire to illicitly enter our society to do such ill works, depriving properly raised Magical children of their place in school. It was with a heavy heart that I snapped the wands that they had come by, but I must remind myself of the necessity of my actions. The hard works that we do today will result in a better tomorrow, I always say!

Still, I do wish that these Muggleborn students had simply found the courage to come to me and admit their wrongdoings, so that we could have helped them. I remind everyone that, in accordance with Educational Decree #330, I offered amnesty to any Muggleborn child who came forward of their own volition in order to help us in our investigations. It is most unfortunate that, to date, no student has taken advantage of this most generous offer, but we must hold out hope that the recent punishment of those students who have been exposed will prompt those others still in hiding to confess themselves.

In related news, we also were forced to expel two other students recently for illegal possession and use of banned products from the Weasley joke line. As has been made expressly clear many a time, these so-called amusements are prohibited by several Educational Decrees, and we will brook no disobedience at Hogwarts. The ill past of Albus Dumbledore’s lax discipline are over. This administration will not allow our children to indulge bad habits or to go unpunished when they are behaving incorrectly. These students have also had their wands destroyed and were sent home to their families with my regrets. I am very sad that I was forced to take such drastic measures, but the law of Hogwarts is very clear, and discipline must be maintained. If students would simply obey the rules that have been laid down, then this would not have been necessary.

As such, I have decided that I must take more drastic action to ensure that illegal substances are not being distributed among our student population, and in addition to this benefit, to help prohibit the flow of propaganda whenever possible. Therefore, we introduce:

Educational Decree #331

From this date forward, all personal owls, as well as any other animal capable of delivering post, are hereby prohibited. All such creatures owned by students currently attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have been confiscated, and will be returned at the end of the school year. In addition, personal correspondence outside of Hogwarts is now limited to letters sent and received via the school’s owls, and all packages arriving at the school will be confiscated unless the student has received a personal exemption on this ban from the Headmistress. Applications for such exemptions can be submitted in writing to the office of Dolores Jane Umbridge, Headmistress and High Inquisitor. Also in addition, all incoming post must bear an address of origin. Any letters arriving from an address of suspicion or bearing no address at all will be confiscated and examined, and delivered to the student at the Headmistress’s discretion.

The confiscation of personal owls was carried out earlier today by Mr. Filch, the school custodian. Possession of an owl from this point forward will be met with swift and severe punishment. This is to protect our students from the rising threat of anti-Ministry propaganda as well as from the harmful possession of illegal substances. These measures may seem unnecessarily strict, but in these difficult times we must be prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure the purity of our children, which is, I remind everyone, my highest priority.

On a personal note, I would like to congratulate a Hogwarts alum on her recent nuptials. Miss Nymphadora Tonks recently married a member of the French Coeur family, named Henri. I wish her and her husband all the best, and encourage any and all Hogwarts alumni to write both to Mrs. Tonks-Coeur and the Coeur family in France to congratulate them on their fine alliance. It makes this Headmistress very happy to see former students pursuing such happy endeavours.

Signed,

Dolores Jane Umbridge
Headmistress and High Inquisitor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry


(Post a new comment)

Hexed Untracable but can be broken if Umbridge really tried.
[info]mklcorner
2008-04-04 11:42 pm UTC (link)
Oh yeah because muggleborns getting an education is a real tragedy and the end of the world!

All they want is a bloody education and you think you have the right to deny them that right?! You must not be too confident in your yourself if you feel scared of some muggleborns.

EXPELLING people for that? A bit harsh, yeah?

Henri Coeur eh? Where did you dig that one up?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Hexed Untracable but can be broken if Umbridge really tried.
[info]kitten_kitsch
2008-04-05 02:56 pm UTC (link)
Ah my dear young man, this is precisely the type of seditious propaganda that I am protecting my charges from. It saddens me to see how deluded some members of your generation really are, how you have been mislead by the sanctimonious ideals of fools like Albus Dumbledore and his ilk to believe that by championing the so-called rights of the Muggleborn you are strengthening our society, when in reality you are weakening it. So yes, I expel the students who disobey, who break the rules, because it is only through strict discipline that I can correct the many wrongs that have been made in the past.

Also, are you implying that Miss Tonks did not marry a man named Henri Coeur? Fascinating. Thank you very much, Mr. Corner. I'll be sure to take extra care to verify my facts now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Hexed Untracable but can be broken if Umbridge really tried.
[info]mklcorner
2008-04-05 06:20 pm UTC (link)
Dumbledore WAS NOT a fool!! He was one of the most talented wizards to ever walk the earth. The people we should be protecting ourselves against is people like you!!

BLOODY HELL TONKS! YOU COULD HAVE MADE MENTION OF THIS BEFORE I REPLIED!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: Hexed Untracable but can be broken if Umbridge really tried.
[info]adoranymphable
2008-04-06 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh, for fuck's sake, yes, I got married. I don't see why that's such a surprise to everyone. I'm not some cold, heartless, ugly little leech, you know, and I am very good in bed, thank you very much. All in all, I'm one hell of a catch.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]adoranymphable
2008-04-05 01:12 am UTC (link)
Oh, Dori, darling, you're too kind!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]kitten_kitsch
2008-04-05 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Think nothing of it, dear Nymphadora.

(Reply to this) (Parent)



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